Halloween has come and gone, and so has my stress for putting together a costume. I ended up having some friends over for a girls night in with lots of wine, candy, pizza, popcorn and a not-so-scary movie marathon. It was perfect, we all brought our favourite Halloween treats to share, took silly selfies with random animal ears and masks as props and we could do this from the comfort of my own home. No trekking out in the cold — which was our original plan! — or waiting in line (in the cold!!), paying for cover and expensive drinks and then waiting for for a cab at the end of the night (in the cold!!!). The only downside is a liiiittle wine hangover this morning, and a burn on my arm when we decided that baking wine cupcakes at 3AM was a good idea. Long story short… it wasn’t.
Oh, and a small mountain of candy that I’m trying to figure out what to do with. I went to the gym when I finally got up to work off the gross sugary hangover feeling. While I was sweating it out, and trying not to think about all the junk food I ate last night, I came up with a handful of things you can do to get rid of any excess candy in your possession:
Tip #1: Give it to me
No, really. I mean.. wait, no! I don’t want your candy!
Tip #2: “Donate” it to work/school/your neighbours/other people
The only thing more satisfying than knowing you had a bunch of candy and didn’t eat it, is watching other people eat what you didn’t want (muahahaha). Except for the tall skinny guy that can eat everything at my office.. I feel no satisfaction watching him eat. He can put away vast quantities of food in one sitting without batting an eye and TBH, sometimes it makes me feel a little queasy. I’m pretty sure he’s also said there’s a wizard in his stomach.
Tip #3: Make candy art
Remember all those macaroni art projects from preschool? You can totally do the same with your leftover junk food. Just knowing there is glue or paint or other craft supply adhesive stuck to the other side of your candy should be deterrent enough from trying to eat it later. I would NOT suggest using your favourite junk food though, you might be too tempted to eat while you’re working. Thankfully, this doesn’t work very well with Doritos. (That, and I ate all of them anyway).
Tip #4: Bake it into something else
Think chocolate chip-popcorn-M&M-twizzlers cookies sounds pretty good? You know it does. Or, you can go the more conventional route and use just one extra ingredient at a time in your recipe of choice. If your candy can last that long. This isn’t very helpful if you’re like me and you sample all of the ingredients you decide to bake with. Otherwise I think this is a pretty solid idea. Even better if you incorporate Tip #2 and take your freshly baked goods to the office and give them away when you’re done!
Tip #5: Throw it out
I always feel bad about throwing away good food, though technically junk food is bad for you because it’s, well, junk. If you think you want more candy now, just think of how turned off you will be when you want to reach for your leftovers when they’re in the garbage bin.
Bonus Tip: Plant them in your backyard
… In the hopes that a candy tree will bloom come spring. I know what you’re thinking, “but wait! I thought the whole point of this exercise was to get rid of the candy! We don’t want more of it!”. And we don’t. We just don’t want it right now…
If you don’t have any leftover candy, I’m pretty jealous of your right now. Otherwise, maybe my tips will help you get rid of the excess so you can live the rest of your weekend in peace and without the feeling of weird sugar mouth even after you’ve brushed your teeth. Yep. Enjoy the taste of success!
-C
